Monday, April 25, 2005 at 04:04AM
I wrote a new song today, the first in a long while, and that's the first line. My wife got a subscription to Oprah's magazine, "O", and this month a special little booklet entitled "What I Know is True", or something to that effect, came with it. Jason was over here last night and picked it up and started reading little tidbits out to us all. She quoted the Bible verse "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free" and went on to say that the definition of truth is "whatever feels right to you in your heart." I started getting mad. Then Jason read things like "love never hurts, it only feels good" and "when things get confused or sad, just look in your heart, and believe in yourself". Man, I was fuming by then.
You see, I've been wrestling with this idea that we all grew up being taught a load of crap about who we are, and that now we are reaping the consequences of it, and we don't even know it. The things I am talking about are phrases like "Believe in yourself", "if you believe it, you can achieve it", "when in doubt, follow your heart". These things sound so good, but have we ever really thought about them? Look over those sentences again. Can you believe that anyone would fall for that? How obviously and deeply wrong each statement is! There are tons of these out there, floating around, but they all pretty much stem from these three, the greatest of these being, of course, "Believe in yourself." I'm going to take a quick minute and explain why I think these are flawed and why I think that matters.
3. "What's true is what you know in your heart"
We have heard this in every movie made for kids in the last twenty-five years, but have we really thought about it? If you look at this from a Christian perspective its fallacy is obvious. The heart of man is not always a good thing, some would argue, and would probably win, that it's NEVER completely a good thing. My heart is selfish, always wanting, never wanting to give, always looking for the things that will make me feel good. What does my heart tell me to do? It tells me to cheat on my wife, to lie on my taxes, to look down on people, to lie, to always be on top. I know that I need to look to something outside of me, something greater than me, to lead me and to tell me what to do.
From a non-christian perspective, I want to know that the people around me are looking to something outside of them as well. I want to know my government is run by people who are not following their heart, but their ideas of right and wrong, justice and mercy. That they will follow the rules of their job, the Constitution, and not whatever they're feeling at the moment. If I'm on trial, I want to know that the "truth" means who really shot J.R., not what somebody thinks might have happened. Truth is not relative in the courtroom. Nor in the business world. Your heart may tell you to turn around and go back to your girlfriend, but you're the pilot of a plane and your passengers need to be going to see their families and doing their jobs. These ideas are romantic in the movies, but chaos in real life.
2. "If You Believe It, You Can Achieve It."
This one probably makes me the most mad, because it is the most obviously untrue. The simple fact is: You can't always do what you want to. When I was in jr. high I practiced for hours a day at basketball. I played ten times the basketball that I played guitar. Guess what? I suck at basketball. I have no depth perception. I have asthma. I barely have enough balance to walk to the kitchen. I can't play basketball. I wanted to join the team at school so bad. I tried out every year. I was never good enough. I guarantee you I practiced harder and wanted it more than most of those kids on the team, but it wasn't going to happen.
On the flip side, I have a job that a lot of people wish they had. I know that. I get cd's in the mail every week and after every show from people who want to be musicians. They feel they have something to offer, and the talent to make it. The truth is: most of those cd's are pretty bad. I hate that, but it's true. I'm very blessed to get to play music for a living, and I know that God has given me the gifts to do that. I also know there are people who want those gifts more than I do, and they flat-out don't have them. No one wants to listen to someone who can't sing in tune. That's why American Idols ratings are down this season. (Sorry, couldn't resist.) Some of these people, I know, have worked way harder than I have to create an opportunity for themselves, but it just won't happen.
Why do I think this is a dangerous belief? Because it's so good to hear. It's so encouraging when you're starting out, or discouraged. But it's a lie. A lie is never helpful in the long run. I believe that we, as humans, were created with limits, and that those are a good thing. I'm not saying we shouldn't have goals, I'm not saying we should give up. I'm saying that life is easier when we accept that we won't always succeed, because we won't. We need to realize that there is more to life than failure and victory, especially when we all fail more than we don't.
One of my best friends grew up with very supportive parents, both teachers. They raised him with this belief. He spent years working towards a certain goal that he would never reach. I remember the day he realized it. It killed him. He really believed that what he put his mind to, he could do. But he couldn't. And he could barely believe it. He looked at me, crying, and said, "but I tried so hard. I believed it, how couldn't it happen? It was supposed to happen."
I think that moment is why I have such a hard time with that phrase. It did damage. That lie took years of his life that he probably should have been spending elsewhere, it took him away from his family, and most of all, it broke his heart. Believing in a lie will only hurt when the lie is exposed.
1. "Believe in Yourself"
And this one can only be seen as wrong from a Christian perspective, but it's the fundamental fallacty to all of these statements. I believe that the heart of this movement, of these ideas, is really an evil thing. I believe that we, as humans, were meant to live in harmony with a God who was greater than us, who made all, knew all, and had power over all. HE could do whatever He put His mind to. Our very existence is evidence of that. To put your hope in yourself, to trust that the answers are all inside your heart is really, at its core, a denial of the relationship between God and man. We were created to believe in Him, not in us. In Him, would we find the answers to our questions. In Him, will we find the truth that will set us free. In Him, can we put our faith and trust, can we find rest and peace, can we move mountains.
It's easy to see through a ridiculous lie, through one that insults us or demeans us. It's the subtle lies, the sweet ones, the ones that go down easy, that we fall for. And, like candy to the tooth, over time they chip away at us, reshaping the way the truth really tastes and feels, until we don't recognize it, and fall for an imposter.
It's my prayer that we would start seeing these ideas for what they really are, and stand up to them. I hope that we can live in a world where our hope can be greater than ourselves. These ideas that seem so much more hopeful than the idea of sin and depravity, are really a cancer that grow to choke out a greater hope, one of redemption and perfection. You see, there is no real freedom in lies, but there IS a freedom in knowing who we really are, our limitations and our imperfections, and knowing who we can really put our hope in. This is not a pipe dream or inspirational poster, but a new heaven and a new earth, with no tears and no failings!
Also, no cheesy R. Kelly pop songs where people sing that they believe they can fly when they obviously can't. If he really believed that, they'd lock him up, which I guess they're about to do anyway...
